Day 3, New Delhi: Bazaars, Lodi Gardens, Rashtrapathi Bhavan

I kept a journal during my travels and am going to transcribe those entries here.

Today was Monday Market in the basti. I bought sweets and toys for the kids, which turned into utter chaos once 3 kids became 5 (ok), then became 8 (still ok), then became 20 (ahhh!). A few stubborn boys stuck with me and followed me far enough to where there weren't crowds of children, so I bought them each a collar shirt. A shopkeeper even said to me "You are very nice" for doing these things, but I don't know about that. India really makes me feel inadequate and I'm not prepared to give freely because I'm terrified of being mobbed. My anxiety levels just skyrocket: it's claustrophobia like nothing else.

The crowded and lively market that sprung up overnight.

After the market we headed to Lodi Gardens, which was such a gem. It is so beautiful and peaceful, so green and lively, and I simply loved being there. It isn't your typical park back home because there are many historical buildings throughout the grounds. The Bada Gumbad (Great Dome) mosque and tomb had beautiful architectural details and displays of Islamic calligraphy, as did the adjacent Sheesh Gumbad (Glass Dome). We also visited the impressive tomb of Sikander Lodi.

Through one of the entrances to Lodi Gardens.

Bada Gumbad.

The enclosure of Sikander Lodi's tomb.

A little haven.

Sheesh Gumbad on the left, Bada Gumbad on the right.

One startling thing I noticed were the stray dogs lying around throughout the park. Lost in oblivion, at first I thought, "How cute! These dogs are hanging out together!" Then I came to, and realized that they were lonely, tired and probably hungry. Being an animal lover, it just broke my heart.

Many dogs like this could be found throughout the park.

A boy of about 9 years old was selling us chips in the park. After buying some bags and letting him keep the change, it hit me: today is Monday, in the early afternoon. This boy should be in school - but he's not. He's here, selling chips to make money. Not in school. All of a sudden, it was like the flood gates had opened and there was no stopping me now. I bawled my eyes out, my heart was wrenching and I felt so inadequate, so helpless, so unable to do a single damn thing to really help anyone. I was so pitifully unprepared to see little children begging and working. The first few days my brain's emotional center just shut down: the only way I could internalize it all was by pretending it was all normal. I refused to let my heart feel anything because I was too scared of the turbulent emotions that were stirring underneath the surface. Today, they broke through.

These emotions made me feel so isolated. Who could understand the horror I felt at seeing some of those things? The beggars, the squalor, the deformaties, the human degradation? Even my mother and aunt were familiar with all of this, as they had been to Afghanistan in the last few years. India is a remarkable country, but even with all of its economic progress the gap between the "haves" and "have-nots" is unbelievably huge. At that moment I could think of only a handful of things worse than being a poor person in a developing country that cannot meet the needs of all of its people.

I had a really good cry and just tried to make the best of the day after that. At that point I was using to having these emotional swings.

After Lodi Gardens we headed to Rashtrapathi Bhavan. The city was preparing for the Republic Day celebrations so India Gate was closed and many roads were blocked. We were able to admire the splendor of the presidential palace and take a few pictures before leaving.

The day ended with (what else) shopping, this time in the underground Pallika Bazaar and in Connaught Place. Madness and mayhem - that's how I would describe Pallika Bazaar. My mom and aunt were rhapsodizing about their youthful days shopping in this mall, but even they weren't expecting the tight, overcrowded, tourist-trap filled conditions that we met. After half an hour we bolted from there. Connaught Place was interesting, with its British-style architecture and plethora of shops. It was also fascinating to just observe the crowds and the daily life of Delhiites.

Connaught Place.