Happiness and medical school - a juxtaposition of two very contradictory terms. It's been six weeks into medical school and the word "happiness" has hardly popped up. The medical school daily grind is so intense and consuming that you start to lose sight of the concept of happiness. It's not intentional, and it's not as if you are unhappy. It's just that happiness really doesn't have much relevance to your life anymore.
I have at least been trying to keep a balanced existence, but as the lectures pile up and the content becomes more difficult to get through, the balance starts to slip... gradually and subtly. Whereas weeks ago I was meeting up with friends, exercising, eating balanced meals and calling my friends and family, I now find myself rushing through boxed dinners, sending quick "Hi, love you, I'm busy" texts to my mom and completely forgetting that a thing called exercise even exists. Except for when I happen to look at myself in the mirror... then I remember "exercise" and the complete lack of its existence in my life with startling clarity.
II certainly don't want to live the rest of my medical school life in this state of "I'm too busy to remember I have a life!" I have to remind myself of how blessed I am to even be here, and that I have a choice with how I want to live. No one forced me to be here - no one is forcing me to study all the time. It really is all about finding the right balance with strategic time management... and I really am trying to get there. I want to enjoy medical school while still enjoying my life at the same time.
I also want to be HAPPY. I want to see each day as a beautiful new day, with meaningful moments and interactions. I want to be conscious of each day and mindful of its possibilities. This article I stumbled upon was a great reminder for me:
The Habits of Supremely Happy People
Yes, I'm deciding to be a HAPPY medical student!
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Friday, July 12, 2013
Day 13, Delhi: Dargahs, Old Delhi, Indira Gandhi Museum
Our second-to-last day in India!
We started our day at the hole-in-wall Roshan Chiragh-e-Delhi dargah, which is the tomb of the Sufi saint Nasiruddin Chiragh Dehlavi. My paternal grandfather was an admirer of this saint, so it was very meaningful for my mother to come here. There was no way we would have found this place if our driver didn't drop us off in the alleyway leading to it, and if a kind stranger didn't help us navigate the maze of alleys.
We then had our driver take us to the Indira Gandhi Museum, which we pleasantly discovered does not charge an entrance fee. I really enjoyed the memorial museum - it was the actual home of Mrs. Gandhi and one gets a privileged peek into a more personal aspect of her life. There are also beautiful arrangements of photographs and newspaper articles, as well as many personal items that held much meaning to the famous leader. I felt that this museum did justice in honoring her memory and what she stood for her; this much can be gleaned even from someone who hardly knew anything about her, other than being an Indian Prime Minister. We took our time observing the artifacts and walking through the building, and it was a very pleasant way to spend our morning!
Old Delhi was next on the list, and I was excited to visit the Jama Masjid, which is the biggest mosque in all of India. Our driver dropped us off near the masjid, and we trekked through a congested but lively bazaar to make it in. Unfortunately we just missed Friday prayer; I was really looking forward to praying in the mosque, but it wasn't meant to be. Since shoes aren't allowed inside, just like with any mosque or dargah, we left them outside with a man who was overseeing them. I should say, for anyone planning a visit to the mosque, beware of the hawks and tourist traps! One man saw my camera and told me that there is a 350 INR charge for taking pictures inside of the mosque - that sounded preposterous to me! I tucked the camera back inside my purse, only to promptly take it out as soon as I got it. Also, on our way out we gave the shoe-keeper a typical tip; however, he wasn't very pleased with this amount and demanded we give more. I believe he asked for 100 INR for each pair of shoes, which is about $2. Honestly, give it if you want but it is way more than what the going rate is! I ended up giving him 200 INR instead of the 300 that he wanted. Does that sound stingy? Well, after 2 weeks in India you start to realize how much things are actually worth and when you are being ripped off. I was incensed since I knew he was running a scam, and I was sick of being viewed as a bank since I was American (for the record, I am most definitely not a rich American with so much money to spend! I saved up a long time for this trip!)
Even though Laal Qila (the Red Fort) was just a relatively short walk away, I couldn't summon up the energy to do it - it was midday and the sun was start to scorch! On top of that, I did not eat much during the day, out of my fear of having to suddenly go to the bathroom where there are no bathrooms to be found (you will never understand this fear until you are in that situation!) Therefore, the fort had to be sacrificed, as well as a couple of other major attractions that I didn't care to see anymore out of sheer exhaustion, such as the Lotus Temple and Akshardam Temple. I was honestly surprised at how low my energy level got, but we had a couple more dargahs that my mom and aunt were anxious to visit and I realized that I was not the energizer bunny anymore.
We found our driver after walking through the markets back to the car and headed to the dargah of Baba Matka Pir, fondly known as Koza Baba to Afghans. In both Urdu and Farsi, the Sufi saint is nicknamed after earthen pots. Legend has it that after hearing of the saint's healing powers, a sultan decided to test him by sending him a platter of iron balls and mud. The saint, after praying, took off the cover of the platter and the aforementioned items had turned into edible items including jaggery; he mixed them with water, producing sweet milk in the earth pot.
I cannot emphasize enough how much in love I fell with this place. From the first second of leaving the car and taking a look around, my heart felt peace, contentment and joy. There is an irrepressible serenity and calm that accompanies the dargah; I felt a mystical and awe-inspiring aura just envelop me whole and take me away. I also felt overwhelmed by the peaceful presence of nature. I prayed my heart out at the tomb, and the caretaker of the dargah also did a prayer for me and gave me a large piece of jaggery as a token.
We eventually had to leave this wonderful sanctuary and, along with our driver, we made a mad jaywalking/running dash across an extremely busy road to get to the last stop of the day: the most humble dargah, Bagh-e-Bedil. Bedil Saab, whose name translates to "the broken-hearted," was a great and renowned Sufi poet, especially in Afghanistan. I was stunned at the tomb's simplicity; there weren't any caretakers, any devotees, any vendors selling flowers and incense. It was bare and ascetic, yet, of all the dargahs, it felt most true to the principles of Sufism.
On the way back to the car, we noticed a bridge - and were mercifully saved another jaywalking adventure!
We started our day at the hole-in-wall Roshan Chiragh-e-Delhi dargah, which is the tomb of the Sufi saint Nasiruddin Chiragh Dehlavi. My paternal grandfather was an admirer of this saint, so it was very meaningful for my mother to come here. There was no way we would have found this place if our driver didn't drop us off in the alleyway leading to it, and if a kind stranger didn't help us navigate the maze of alleys.
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| "The Illuminated Lamp of Delhi" |
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| The peaceful courtyard |
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| Offerings to the saint |
We then had our driver take us to the Indira Gandhi Museum, which we pleasantly discovered does not charge an entrance fee. I really enjoyed the memorial museum - it was the actual home of Mrs. Gandhi and one gets a privileged peek into a more personal aspect of her life. There are also beautiful arrangements of photographs and newspaper articles, as well as many personal items that held much meaning to the famous leader. I felt that this museum did justice in honoring her memory and what she stood for her; this much can be gleaned even from someone who hardly knew anything about her, other than being an Indian Prime Minister. We took our time observing the artifacts and walking through the building, and it was a very pleasant way to spend our morning!
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| Arrangements such as this adorn the walls |
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| Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;
Where knowledge is free; Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls; Where words come out from the depth of the truth; Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection; Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit; Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought and action Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake. |
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| These crystal "river" symbolizes the last steps Gandhi took before she was murdered by her bodyguard. |
Old Delhi was next on the list, and I was excited to visit the Jama Masjid, which is the biggest mosque in all of India. Our driver dropped us off near the masjid, and we trekked through a congested but lively bazaar to make it in. Unfortunately we just missed Friday prayer; I was really looking forward to praying in the mosque, but it wasn't meant to be. Since shoes aren't allowed inside, just like with any mosque or dargah, we left them outside with a man who was overseeing them. I should say, for anyone planning a visit to the mosque, beware of the hawks and tourist traps! One man saw my camera and told me that there is a 350 INR charge for taking pictures inside of the mosque - that sounded preposterous to me! I tucked the camera back inside my purse, only to promptly take it out as soon as I got it. Also, on our way out we gave the shoe-keeper a typical tip; however, he wasn't very pleased with this amount and demanded we give more. I believe he asked for 100 INR for each pair of shoes, which is about $2. Honestly, give it if you want but it is way more than what the going rate is! I ended up giving him 200 INR instead of the 300 that he wanted. Does that sound stingy? Well, after 2 weeks in India you start to realize how much things are actually worth and when you are being ripped off. I was incensed since I knew he was running a scam, and I was sick of being viewed as a bank since I was American (for the record, I am most definitely not a rich American with so much money to spend! I saved up a long time for this trip!)
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| Do you see the madness?! |
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| The amazing Jama Masjid |
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| Friday prayer mats being rolled up |
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| I don't like taking candids but... what are they wearing??!! |
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| Feeding the birds |
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| The view of the Red Fort from the masjid |
Even though Laal Qila (the Red Fort) was just a relatively short walk away, I couldn't summon up the energy to do it - it was midday and the sun was start to scorch! On top of that, I did not eat much during the day, out of my fear of having to suddenly go to the bathroom where there are no bathrooms to be found (you will never understand this fear until you are in that situation!) Therefore, the fort had to be sacrificed, as well as a couple of other major attractions that I didn't care to see anymore out of sheer exhaustion, such as the Lotus Temple and Akshardam Temple. I was honestly surprised at how low my energy level got, but we had a couple more dargahs that my mom and aunt were anxious to visit and I realized that I was not the energizer bunny anymore.
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| Driving through Old Delhi |
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| Navigating through the bazaars |
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| I bought some dried fruit.. and it was delicious! |
We found our driver after walking through the markets back to the car and headed to the dargah of Baba Matka Pir, fondly known as Koza Baba to Afghans. In both Urdu and Farsi, the Sufi saint is nicknamed after earthen pots. Legend has it that after hearing of the saint's healing powers, a sultan decided to test him by sending him a platter of iron balls and mud. The saint, after praying, took off the cover of the platter and the aforementioned items had turned into edible items including jaggery; he mixed them with water, producing sweet milk in the earth pot.
I cannot emphasize enough how much in love I fell with this place. From the first second of leaving the car and taking a look around, my heart felt peace, contentment and joy. There is an irrepressible serenity and calm that accompanies the dargah; I felt a mystical and awe-inspiring aura just envelop me whole and take me away. I also felt overwhelmed by the peaceful presence of nature. I prayed my heart out at the tomb, and the caretaker of the dargah also did a prayer for me and gave me a large piece of jaggery as a token.
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| Earthen pots are everywhere! |
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| Steps leading up to the tomb |
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| To me, this is beautiful |
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| Tomb entrance; a devotee is praying |
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| Offerings to the saint |
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| I made an ardent, secret wish... I can still tell which string is mine |
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| When a devotee's wish is granted, they come back and offer an earthen pot. |
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| The garden of Bedil Saab |
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| A special place for my mom; her father was an ardent devotee |
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| Beautiful in its simplicity |
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| Uh oh! |
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| View from the bridge |
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Day 12, Ajmer: Adhai Dinka Jhonpra, Ana Sagar Lake, Dargah Sharif
We did a little bit of sightseeing today. There really wasn't a lot to see, but the places we did go to were worth visiting. Our first stop was Adhai Dinka Jhonpra, an ancient mosque that was originally a Hindu temple. Dating back to around 1150, the architecture and splendor of the ruins are quite a sight, even if it is slightly dampened by the graffiti/vandalism that also exists. We walked through the busy, busy alleys of the marketplace to get here, but it is only a short walk from the main dargah entrance.
Afterwards, we hailed down an autorickshaw and headed to Ana Sagar lake, which felt like a breath of fresh air! The dargah is surrounded by a crowded, dusty and bustling marketplace, and there are people and noise everyone; the lake provided a significant contrast, as I took in the greenery and tranquility. It's a nice getaway spot for anyone in Ajmer.
We did a little bit of shopping (because you HAVE to shop with all these markets!) and I bought some gifts for family and friends back home. After a brief respite in the guesthouse, we made another trip to the dargah to pay our respects to the saint, to pray, and to listen to qawwali.
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| Heading to the site |
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| Adhai Din ka Jhonpra |
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| Still a functioning mosque |
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| Details |
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| I felt like I was inside of village... |
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| Green = sanctuary |
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| My soul feels rejuvenated |
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| I enjoyed this moment |
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| Music Man |
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| I loved the random yet impressive bits of architecture scattered throughout |
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| Walking back from Ana Sagar Lake |
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| Inside the dargah, vendors sell flowers and sweets as offerings |
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| A peek inside |
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| AMAZING qawwali music! |
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| Right outside of the tomb |
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Another Facebook Post From India
This was the second facebook post I wrote while in India
1. I've been getting ripped off everyday since I don't have the heart or energy for bargaining
2. Indian guys love asking to take pictures with me
3. Beggar kids will mob your vehicle for money, school kids will mob it for candy
4. I think I should have aimed for veterinary school instead since it breaks my heart every time I see neglected animals scavenging the garbage to find food
5. Which makes me wonder what kind of a human being I am since I have more sympathy for animals than people sometimes
6. I thought I was being kind by leaving a pool of water for a tired dog
7. It turns out I was being a nuisance since he got up and moved elsewhere
8. I'm understanding the American mentality of not wanting to learn a second language since everyone around the world really does speak English
9. I will probably start jay-walking back home since I have learned to fearlessly cross Indian streets 10. Bollywood has fed me lies all of my life
11. After seeing slums, hustling and human degradation everyday, I've been doing a lot of soul searching
12. I now understand why Bollywood is all about the good life - I'm dying to see a legit mansion.
1. I've been getting ripped off everyday since I don't have the heart or energy for bargaining
2. Indian guys love asking to take pictures with me
3. Beggar kids will mob your vehicle for money, school kids will mob it for candy
4. I think I should have aimed for veterinary school instead since it breaks my heart every time I see neglected animals scavenging the garbage to find food
5. Which makes me wonder what kind of a human being I am since I have more sympathy for animals than people sometimes
6. I thought I was being kind by leaving a pool of water for a tired dog
7. It turns out I was being a nuisance since he got up and moved elsewhere
8. I'm understanding the American mentality of not wanting to learn a second language since everyone around the world really does speak English
9. I will probably start jay-walking back home since I have learned to fearlessly cross Indian streets 10. Bollywood has fed me lies all of my life
11. After seeing slums, hustling and human degradation everyday, I've been doing a lot of soul searching
12. I now understand why Bollywood is all about the good life - I'm dying to see a legit mansion.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Day 11, Ajmer: Dargah Sharif
Once again we headed back to the Ajmer Shatabdi, this time to head to the city of Ajmer for a pilgrimage. The dargah of the Sufi saint Moinuddin Chisti, aka "Gharib Nawaz" (Benefactor of the Poor), is there and it is a site where Hindus and Christians visit in addition to Muslims.
My aunt regularly donates to the dargah, and a couple of the dargah caretakers arranged transportation and a room for us in their guesthouse. It was all nice until we finally met the father/son duo in an office in the dargah. The first question they had for us was concerning how much we were going to donate. My mother and I were so put off by this question! We were of course going to donate, but we naively assumed that there would be time for that later, after paying our respects to the saint. After offering $50 or so (for the time being), the father told us that it wasn't enough! Honestly, it's so sad to see what a business religion has become in the world today. Anyway, we did get a good tour of the place and donated here and there throughout the day. The dargah complex is massive!
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| Posing with a cooli (a rail porter) |
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| The Rajasthani desert on the way to Ajmer |
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| Heading to the guesthouse |
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| Buland Darwaza |
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| Cameras are not allowed inside... so I whipped out my phone instead |
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| Getting ready for prayer |
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| The "choti deg," (small pot) used to cook meals to feed the poor |
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| A peek inside the "bara deg," (big pot) where donations in cash and food are thrown in |
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| Getting ready for evening prayer |
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| The shrine lit up at night |
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